I was using a POSSESSIVE! Not a CONTRACTION!!!!!!!

When you say, "DreamerGirl, can you get me VisiGnome's ghillie. I want to set it aflame."

You are meaning: "The ghillie belonging to Visignome" Not "Get me VisiGnome is a Ghillie" Unless, you do think I am a ghillie, which is entirely possible. In fact, it is probably likely that I am, in fact, a ghillie.

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"But you have to be smarter than the watchband..."
~Sean-From-Church

The man's wife send him to get some snails for her fancy party this evening. On the way home with his bag of escargo, he meets a friend who invites him to the pub for a drink. He agrees to go, but just for one drink. (And maybe one more. And just one more. And maybe just one more.)
Four hours later, he looks at the clock and realizes he is going to be so dead. He grabs his bag of snails and runs out the door. He runs the whole way home, gasping for breath and lungs burning, but just as he gets past the gate of his home he trips and the snails go flying. The door opens. A beam of light framing the shadow of his furious wife spills from the house onto the prone man.
The man looks at the scattered snails and in a moment of inspiration says, "A feet more feet, lads, we're almost there!"

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That's great!!

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."

“Dad, I’m going to a party, can you do my homework for me?”
“Sorry, kid, it wouldn’t be right.”
“Well, maybe not, but give it a try anyway.”

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but only if the light bulb is willing to change.

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